Come on, Facebook

Facebook either doesn’t know who I am – or even worse, it does and it just hates me.

For those of you who may be unaccustomed to using Facebook, whenever you’re logged in, small advertisements are placed on the side of the pages that are relevant to whatever information you’ve provided.  For example, my profile information says that I am 25, straight, and single.  Therefore, I would often see advertisements like this…

and that’s just fine.  After a little while, I noticed Facebook started missing the mark on it’s ads, though.  I’m a guy, and the last time I checked I can’t get pregnant, so this one was a little confusing …

and, while Facebook could have no idea that I’m lactose-intolerant, this next one just made me laugh.

I’d be keeled over for hours if I had that much pizza.  A couple of months ago, though, Facebook seemed to lose it’s mind, and I started getting ads like this. CONSTANTLY.

"Um…Facebook? Hello? Uhh….I’m straight?"

"No, Mark…that doesn’t matter, you WILL look at all of our gay ads."

And gay they were.  It seems I wasn’t the only straight guy afflicted with this annoyance, so that was a little comforting, but still – I can’t say I enjoyed signing on every day to see shirtless men in sunglasses inviting me to join them today!  Just as suddenly as the gay-barrage started, though, it seemed to end.  Though I never click on the ads, I was happy to once again start getting the straight ads back again.

Things were fine for awhile, though I noticed the ads were getting slightly more aggressive in their phrasing.

Still Single?  Well, I guess that’s not TOO bad, because I am after all still single.  And the girl is cute, so it’s fine.  Yesterday, though, I signed on only to be welcomed by an advertisement that’s gone a little too far.

Haha, I mean… great scott!  Sure, I want a girlfriend (though the young girl wearing too much makeup in the picture ain’t for me), but do you really have to call me pathetic?  The best part is that it supposedly is advertising for eHarmony – an online match site that prides itself on connecting people’s personalities.  So, this hot little thing is sitting there, calling me pathetic for not having a girlfriend at age 25 – and I want to love her for it?  I almost fell out of my chair laughing when I first saw that.  So thanks, Facebook.  Thanks for rubbing it in – you jerks.

Now I almost miss the gay ads – at least they didn’t insult me